They're not making actors like they used to. If you compare the classic Hollywood films of the 1930's through the 1960's, even on into the 70's to a lot of the movies being made today, that becomes alarmingly clear. Classic movies were filled with iconic actors. People like Humphrey Bogart, Orson Welles, Edward G. Robinson, Clark Gable, Bette Davis, Lauren Bacall, Marilyn Monroe, Jimmy Stewart, Judy Garland, John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and a long list of others were icons because they brought some of their own unique personality to the roles they played. The characters they played were memorable because they shared similar traits to the actors' pre-established personas. Humphrey Bogart could be a tough gangster or a good-guy detective, or he could be a conflicted lover, and yet he was still Bogart in all of those roles.
Modern actors I consider to have this quality include Johnny Depp, Samuel Jackson, George Clooney, Tom Hanks, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Kathy Bates, Jack Nicholson, Will Smith...and a few others.
Like this guy, Christopher Walken. Whether he's in a movie, a TV comedy skit, a music video (he's done all three and then some), he's instantly recognizable. He can be creepy, serious, funny, dramatic...but he has that certain quality that makes him a character just by himself.
Case in point: This comedic, ad-libbed take on "The Three Little Pigs".
Now, if someone like Brad Pitt or Jude Law or Christian Bale or Will Ferrell read that same story, would it be as unique or funny? I doubt it.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
My Top 10 Favorite FUNNY Christmas songs
Since I did a top 10 favorites and top 5 least favorites, I decided I should do a top 10 list of funny Christmas songs and Christmas song parodies. This one's pretty eclectic...I have a pretty weird sense of humor!
10. I Tawt I Taw Ol’ Santy Claws” (Tweety and Sylvester)Back in the early 90’s, Looney Tunes had a resurgence in popularity they hadn’t seen in years. The only problem was, their principal voice artist, Mel Blanc, passed away in 1989. They found replacements, but it took an army of voice actors to do what Blanc had once done all by himself. Nevertheless, a Christmas album was released with the new actors. This track from it managed to get some radio airplay, and rightly so…it’s hilarious, and it’s so well-voiced by Bob Bergen and Joe Alaskey, you’d swear it was Blanc himself. Sorry about the weird video, all I could find on the internet was a video of 2 little kids dancing to it.
9. Jingle Bells, Batman Smells (Unknown)
This is one of those silly parodies we all sang as kids, making up variations and just being silly. I don’t think anyone knows who first came up with it, but the folks who made the classic Batman Animated Series remembered it and did as good a tribute to it as any. By the way, the Joker’s voice is done by Mark Hamill. That’s right kids, Luke Skywalker was playing the Joker long before Heath Ledger came along.
8. Walkin’ Round in Women’s Underwear” (Bob Rivers)
Some of the funniest Christmas parody songs of all time were done by Bob Rivers, a West Coast DJ and song parodist. This combines two things you wouldn’t think to combine: “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” and cross-dressing. It’s sick, wrong, messed up, but incredibly funny.
7. 12 Pains of Christmas (Bob Rivers)
Again, Bob Rivers takes a Christmas song and turns it on its ear. This time, “The 12 Days of Christmas” takes a turn for the worse as various people in the song air their grievances with the Yuletide. A frustrated light-rigger, an effeminate Christmas card writer, an Archie Bunker-type drunk and a nervous woman scared to death of her mother-in-law, among others, make this a fun and funny listen.
6. Cat Hair Balls (Ren and Stimpy)
So nasty. So weird. So twisted. That’s Ren and Stimpy for you. After their original creator, John Kricfalusi (a pretty sick and twisted guy in his own right) was fired from his own show, that didn’t stop Nickelodeon from continuing without him, and merchandising it like crazy. There were several albums of songs and skits released featuring voice actor Billy West, including this one. It’s hard to imagine a Christmas album this nasty aimed at kids today. Still, this particular song sort of sticks with you.
5. The Hat I Got For Christmas Is Too Big (Mel Blanc)
Mel Blanc, the voice of the Looney Tunes, spins the tale of a Mexican (His “Speedy Gonzales” voice) who gets a sombrero for Christmas that is so big, it blocks his vision. Why he didn’t just take the sombrero off is anybody’s guess, but it’s a genuinely hilarious vocal performance by one of the greatest actors to ever work in film and radio.
4. The Night Santa Went Crazy (Weird Al Yankovic)
This original song by Weird Al tells of what happens one night when Santa Claus turns into a homicidal maniac. It’s not one of those “nice”, “warm fuzzy” Christmas stories. In fact it’s extremely violent! However, what makes it work is Al’s clever lyrics. The cartoon someone did to accompany it is a little on the bloody side, but it, too, is pretty funny.
3. Jingle Dogs (Jingle Dogs)
Now here’s an idea that’s so crazy it works…Christmas songs performed by pets! Back in the mid 90’s, somebody got the idea to record various dog barks and cat meows and string them together to create “Jingle Dogs” and “Jingle Cats”. Though not really something you want to listen to over and over again, when one of these pops up on a Christmas radio station, it can catch you off guard!
2. Twelve Days of Christmas (John Denver and the Muppets)
Another “12 Days” variation, but this is probably the best one ever recorded, even though it’s meant to be funny. John Denver sings the song in his trademark warm, clear voice, with different Muppets characters chiming in for each “gift”. Jim Henson and John Denver are both gone now, but this song and the album it came from have been charming listeners for 30 years
1.Merry Christmas From the Family (Robert Earl Keen)
Texas singer-songwriter Robert Earl Keen scored one of his biggest hits with this yarn about a redneck family Christmas. As distinctly white-trash as it is, it’s also surprisingly universal. We all have those eccentric relatives who get together at Christmas, and everything that comes with them. Keen brilliantly illustrates a scene filled with drunk parents, a sister with a Mexican boyfriend, a cousin who shows up in a trailer, and a growing grocery list of humorous items. Feliz Navidad!
10. I Tawt I Taw Ol’ Santy Claws” (Tweety and Sylvester)Back in the early 90’s, Looney Tunes had a resurgence in popularity they hadn’t seen in years. The only problem was, their principal voice artist, Mel Blanc, passed away in 1989. They found replacements, but it took an army of voice actors to do what Blanc had once done all by himself. Nevertheless, a Christmas album was released with the new actors. This track from it managed to get some radio airplay, and rightly so…it’s hilarious, and it’s so well-voiced by Bob Bergen and Joe Alaskey, you’d swear it was Blanc himself. Sorry about the weird video, all I could find on the internet was a video of 2 little kids dancing to it.
9. Jingle Bells, Batman Smells (Unknown)
This is one of those silly parodies we all sang as kids, making up variations and just being silly. I don’t think anyone knows who first came up with it, but the folks who made the classic Batman Animated Series remembered it and did as good a tribute to it as any. By the way, the Joker’s voice is done by Mark Hamill. That’s right kids, Luke Skywalker was playing the Joker long before Heath Ledger came along.
8. Walkin’ Round in Women’s Underwear” (Bob Rivers)
Some of the funniest Christmas parody songs of all time were done by Bob Rivers, a West Coast DJ and song parodist. This combines two things you wouldn’t think to combine: “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” and cross-dressing. It’s sick, wrong, messed up, but incredibly funny.
7. 12 Pains of Christmas (Bob Rivers)
Again, Bob Rivers takes a Christmas song and turns it on its ear. This time, “The 12 Days of Christmas” takes a turn for the worse as various people in the song air their grievances with the Yuletide. A frustrated light-rigger, an effeminate Christmas card writer, an Archie Bunker-type drunk and a nervous woman scared to death of her mother-in-law, among others, make this a fun and funny listen.
6. Cat Hair Balls (Ren and Stimpy)
So nasty. So weird. So twisted. That’s Ren and Stimpy for you. After their original creator, John Kricfalusi (a pretty sick and twisted guy in his own right) was fired from his own show, that didn’t stop Nickelodeon from continuing without him, and merchandising it like crazy. There were several albums of songs and skits released featuring voice actor Billy West, including this one. It’s hard to imagine a Christmas album this nasty aimed at kids today. Still, this particular song sort of sticks with you.
5. The Hat I Got For Christmas Is Too Big (Mel Blanc)
Mel Blanc, the voice of the Looney Tunes, spins the tale of a Mexican (His “Speedy Gonzales” voice) who gets a sombrero for Christmas that is so big, it blocks his vision. Why he didn’t just take the sombrero off is anybody’s guess, but it’s a genuinely hilarious vocal performance by one of the greatest actors to ever work in film and radio.
4. The Night Santa Went Crazy (Weird Al Yankovic)
This original song by Weird Al tells of what happens one night when Santa Claus turns into a homicidal maniac. It’s not one of those “nice”, “warm fuzzy” Christmas stories. In fact it’s extremely violent! However, what makes it work is Al’s clever lyrics. The cartoon someone did to accompany it is a little on the bloody side, but it, too, is pretty funny.
3. Jingle Dogs (Jingle Dogs)
Now here’s an idea that’s so crazy it works…Christmas songs performed by pets! Back in the mid 90’s, somebody got the idea to record various dog barks and cat meows and string them together to create “Jingle Dogs” and “Jingle Cats”. Though not really something you want to listen to over and over again, when one of these pops up on a Christmas radio station, it can catch you off guard!
2. Twelve Days of Christmas (John Denver and the Muppets)
Another “12 Days” variation, but this is probably the best one ever recorded, even though it’s meant to be funny. John Denver sings the song in his trademark warm, clear voice, with different Muppets characters chiming in for each “gift”. Jim Henson and John Denver are both gone now, but this song and the album it came from have been charming listeners for 30 years
1.Merry Christmas From the Family (Robert Earl Keen)
Texas singer-songwriter Robert Earl Keen scored one of his biggest hits with this yarn about a redneck family Christmas. As distinctly white-trash as it is, it’s also surprisingly universal. We all have those eccentric relatives who get together at Christmas, and everything that comes with them. Keen brilliantly illustrates a scene filled with drunk parents, a sister with a Mexican boyfriend, a cousin who shows up in a trailer, and a growing grocery list of humorous items. Feliz Navidad!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
My Top 10 Favorite Christmas Songs
Now that I've given my least favorite Christmas songs the criticism they deserve, here's a list of my all-time favorites. I couldn;t narrow it down to just 5 in this case, so I went with a top ten. As with the "worst of" list, I did some research on each one. Sometimes, the origin stories of these songs were just as incredible as the songs themselves.
10. Linus and Lucy (Vince Guaraldi)
Jazz musician Vince Guaraldi lent his talent to the iconic TV special, “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. While this particular snippet of the soundtrack eventually became the “Peanuts” theme song, it is forever associated with Christmas. It’s a bright, cheery piano number that never fails to make the season bright. In fact, The whole soundtrack CD is perfect background music for family holiday get-togethers.
9. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (Robert May)
“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” is a classic in spite of itself. It’s been commercialized to death, but its origin is a great Christmas tale if there ever was one. An employee at the Montgomery Wards department store in Chicago named Robert May was in a tight spot. It was the middle of the Great Depression, his wife had just died, and he didn’t have enough money to buy his daughter a Christmas gift. So he wrote her a story. An executive of Wards caught wind of it, and bought the story from May to distribute to kids who came to the store. After its initial success, the CEO of Wards returned the rights to the story to May, who promptly got together with his brother in law and wrote a song to go with it. May presented the song to country crooner Gene Autry, and it was a huge hit in 1949. The rest is history. Rudolph didn’t just save Christmas, he saved his creator too! Of course, it was also adapted to animation: twice. First, a straightforward adaptation of the book by Max Flesicher, and later the more familiar Rankin/Bass stop-motion film. This one is actually a two-fer...I like the original by Autry and feel the need to include it. But my favorite version is by Motown greats, the Temptations.
8. Frosty the Snowman (Jack Rollins)
After “Rudolph” proved to be a huge hit, Gene Autry wanted to find another Christmas song to turn into a hit. In 1950, he got one: Songwriter Jack Rollins came up with a song that told the story of a snowman who came to life with the aid of a magic hat. It’s pretty childish, especially by today’s standards…but the bottom line is that it’s a great Christmas song. Snow? Check. Happy children? Check. Christmas miracle? Check. It’s catchy as a mofo, too!
7. Here Comes Santa Claus (Gene Autry)
Gene Autry must’ve really liked Christmas music. It’s pretty obvious his wallet liked Christmas music too, considering he had a hand in three of the most iconic Christmas classics of all time. This was the first, though, and he wrote it himself after hearing kids chant “here comes Santa Claus!” in a Christmas parade. Many have tried, but nobody’s managed to top the original, either in performance or success. Like “White Christmas”, the first one to sing it always did it best.
6. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting) (Mel Torme, Bob Wells)
Mel Torme and Bob Wells found themselves in the middle of a brutal heat wave in 1944. In an effort to keep cool, Wells decided to think of things that reminded him of winter. He wrote them down on a note-pad, and when Torme read it, he decided to sit down at a piano and turn it into a song, adding to the lyrics with his own cold-weather memories. They shopped it around and it was picked up by Nat King Cole, who turned it into a hit the following year. It’s one of the best Christmas songs ever created, and has always been one of my favorites.
5. Deck The Halls (Traditional)
This is a really old one. It dates back to 16th Century England, specifically Wales, and has been passed down through time. Even Mozart played it. There are a number of different versions of the lyrics, and it’s never been very popular as a recording, but it’s a song that just about everybody knows. The Christmas carolers of old sang it, kids today sing it, families gather around and sing it around the fireplace. And everybody puts boughs of holly in their homes on Christmas. I can't say I have a favorite version of it, they're all pretty much the same. But Nat King Cole did a good one. I'll give him another spot on the list.
4. Silent Night (Joseph Mohr, Franz Gruber)
This traditional hymn was written by a priest in Austria (Mohr) back in the 1800’s. So the legend goes, he brought it to teacher Franz Gruber and they composed it as a song that could be performed on a guitar instead of a traditional church pipe organ. One variation of its origin story is that this was done out of necessity, in a hurry because the church organ broke before a Christmas Eve service. It’s peaceful, beautiful, and tells of the birth of Jesus. It’s generally sung as a church hymn, although Bing Crosby’s take on it has always been my favorite.
3. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings (Barenaked Ladies)
Technically, this is two songs in one. One is a traditional Christmas hymn, the other is an Epiphany hymn (about the Three Wise Men who followed the North Star to see Jesus.) The Barenaked Ladies got bitten by the Christmas bug in the late 90’s, and with help from fellow Canadian Sarah McLachlan, and together they merged the two songs together and set it to a catchy acoustic guitar riff. I think it’s one of the best Christmas songs ever, even though it’s actually just a modern medley of two ancient songs.
2. White Christmas (Irving Berlin)
Irving Berlin wrote it, Bing Crosby took it from there. I don’t know anyone who hates this song, or anyone who doesn’t know it. When he wrote it (By a hotel swimming pool in sunny, warm Arizona), Berlin is quoted as having said: “I just wrote the best song I've ever written — hell, I just wrote the best song that anybody's ever written! In a way, he was right. After it first appeared as part of a group of songs in the 1942 musical film “Holiday Inn”, in which Bing Crosby performed it, it was released as a single recording by Crosby. It is estimated to be, to this very day, the best-selling single of all time. In any genre, by any artist. Many have covered it since, but none have surpassed Bing Crosby’s version in popularity. Because that would be impossible.
1. I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day (Longfellow/Calkin)
Poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote this incredible song on Christmas morning in 1863. He’d had a rough couple of years leading up to it. The Civil War was in full swing, and he’d just gotten word that his son was wounded in it. His wife had recently died in a fire. There wasn’t any Christmas cheer for him that day…he’d given up all hope. That is, until he heard church bells. What he wrote is not one of the more well-known Christmas songs. It wasn’t even turned into a song until at least 10 years after it was written, by an English organist named John Baptiste Calker. It’s not especially catchy, it’s not about presents and Santa and cute snowmen. I’d gone my whole life without ever hearing it, or hearing of it…until 2 years ago when I stopped by the Starbucks in downtown Austin on a really cold day seeking warm liquid refreshment after picking up a gift for my grandmother. I heard it on the in-store music, asked what it was and was pointed to a compilation of new and old Christmas songs produced by Starbucks. Turns out it was performed by Sarah Mclachlan. It hit me hard. I’d had a pretty lousy year, the country was at war, and I was kind of down in the dumps. Call it a random discovery if you want. Chance, maybe. But when I heard it that day, I knew it was God tapping me on the shoulder and reminding me what Christmas is all about…just like the bells that inspired its author to write it in the first place. “And pealed the bells both loud and deep, God is not dead, nor does he sleep. The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good will to men.” That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
HONORABLE MENTION:
Santa Claus is Coming To Town (Fred Coots/Haven Gillespie)
As originally written in the 1930's by 2 guys named Coots and Gillespie, it's just another Christmas pop tune about Santa Claus. I couldn't really give it a spot in my top ten because the song itself is nothing special. Everybody's performed it, and nobody cares. Except ONE version, and that's Bruce Springsteen's. The Boss started playing it at live shows with his E-Street Band back in the 70's and 80's around Christmas time, and it became their little tradition. He took an old chestnut and roasted it on an open fire. A real classic.
10. Linus and Lucy (Vince Guaraldi)
Jazz musician Vince Guaraldi lent his talent to the iconic TV special, “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. While this particular snippet of the soundtrack eventually became the “Peanuts” theme song, it is forever associated with Christmas. It’s a bright, cheery piano number that never fails to make the season bright. In fact, The whole soundtrack CD is perfect background music for family holiday get-togethers.
9. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (Robert May)
“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” is a classic in spite of itself. It’s been commercialized to death, but its origin is a great Christmas tale if there ever was one. An employee at the Montgomery Wards department store in Chicago named Robert May was in a tight spot. It was the middle of the Great Depression, his wife had just died, and he didn’t have enough money to buy his daughter a Christmas gift. So he wrote her a story. An executive of Wards caught wind of it, and bought the story from May to distribute to kids who came to the store. After its initial success, the CEO of Wards returned the rights to the story to May, who promptly got together with his brother in law and wrote a song to go with it. May presented the song to country crooner Gene Autry, and it was a huge hit in 1949. The rest is history. Rudolph didn’t just save Christmas, he saved his creator too! Of course, it was also adapted to animation: twice. First, a straightforward adaptation of the book by Max Flesicher, and later the more familiar Rankin/Bass stop-motion film. This one is actually a two-fer...I like the original by Autry and feel the need to include it. But my favorite version is by Motown greats, the Temptations.
8. Frosty the Snowman (Jack Rollins)
After “Rudolph” proved to be a huge hit, Gene Autry wanted to find another Christmas song to turn into a hit. In 1950, he got one: Songwriter Jack Rollins came up with a song that told the story of a snowman who came to life with the aid of a magic hat. It’s pretty childish, especially by today’s standards…but the bottom line is that it’s a great Christmas song. Snow? Check. Happy children? Check. Christmas miracle? Check. It’s catchy as a mofo, too!
7. Here Comes Santa Claus (Gene Autry)
Gene Autry must’ve really liked Christmas music. It’s pretty obvious his wallet liked Christmas music too, considering he had a hand in three of the most iconic Christmas classics of all time. This was the first, though, and he wrote it himself after hearing kids chant “here comes Santa Claus!” in a Christmas parade. Many have tried, but nobody’s managed to top the original, either in performance or success. Like “White Christmas”, the first one to sing it always did it best.
6. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting) (Mel Torme, Bob Wells)
Mel Torme and Bob Wells found themselves in the middle of a brutal heat wave in 1944. In an effort to keep cool, Wells decided to think of things that reminded him of winter. He wrote them down on a note-pad, and when Torme read it, he decided to sit down at a piano and turn it into a song, adding to the lyrics with his own cold-weather memories. They shopped it around and it was picked up by Nat King Cole, who turned it into a hit the following year. It’s one of the best Christmas songs ever created, and has always been one of my favorites.
5. Deck The Halls (Traditional)
This is a really old one. It dates back to 16th Century England, specifically Wales, and has been passed down through time. Even Mozart played it. There are a number of different versions of the lyrics, and it’s never been very popular as a recording, but it’s a song that just about everybody knows. The Christmas carolers of old sang it, kids today sing it, families gather around and sing it around the fireplace. And everybody puts boughs of holly in their homes on Christmas. I can't say I have a favorite version of it, they're all pretty much the same. But Nat King Cole did a good one. I'll give him another spot on the list.
4. Silent Night (Joseph Mohr, Franz Gruber)
This traditional hymn was written by a priest in Austria (Mohr) back in the 1800’s. So the legend goes, he brought it to teacher Franz Gruber and they composed it as a song that could be performed on a guitar instead of a traditional church pipe organ. One variation of its origin story is that this was done out of necessity, in a hurry because the church organ broke before a Christmas Eve service. It’s peaceful, beautiful, and tells of the birth of Jesus. It’s generally sung as a church hymn, although Bing Crosby’s take on it has always been my favorite.
3. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings (Barenaked Ladies)
Technically, this is two songs in one. One is a traditional Christmas hymn, the other is an Epiphany hymn (about the Three Wise Men who followed the North Star to see Jesus.) The Barenaked Ladies got bitten by the Christmas bug in the late 90’s, and with help from fellow Canadian Sarah McLachlan, and together they merged the two songs together and set it to a catchy acoustic guitar riff. I think it’s one of the best Christmas songs ever, even though it’s actually just a modern medley of two ancient songs.
2. White Christmas (Irving Berlin)
Irving Berlin wrote it, Bing Crosby took it from there. I don’t know anyone who hates this song, or anyone who doesn’t know it. When he wrote it (By a hotel swimming pool in sunny, warm Arizona), Berlin is quoted as having said: “I just wrote the best song I've ever written — hell, I just wrote the best song that anybody's ever written! In a way, he was right. After it first appeared as part of a group of songs in the 1942 musical film “Holiday Inn”, in which Bing Crosby performed it, it was released as a single recording by Crosby. It is estimated to be, to this very day, the best-selling single of all time. In any genre, by any artist. Many have covered it since, but none have surpassed Bing Crosby’s version in popularity. Because that would be impossible.
1. I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day (Longfellow/Calkin)
Poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote this incredible song on Christmas morning in 1863. He’d had a rough couple of years leading up to it. The Civil War was in full swing, and he’d just gotten word that his son was wounded in it. His wife had recently died in a fire. There wasn’t any Christmas cheer for him that day…he’d given up all hope. That is, until he heard church bells. What he wrote is not one of the more well-known Christmas songs. It wasn’t even turned into a song until at least 10 years after it was written, by an English organist named John Baptiste Calker. It’s not especially catchy, it’s not about presents and Santa and cute snowmen. I’d gone my whole life without ever hearing it, or hearing of it…until 2 years ago when I stopped by the Starbucks in downtown Austin on a really cold day seeking warm liquid refreshment after picking up a gift for my grandmother. I heard it on the in-store music, asked what it was and was pointed to a compilation of new and old Christmas songs produced by Starbucks. Turns out it was performed by Sarah Mclachlan. It hit me hard. I’d had a pretty lousy year, the country was at war, and I was kind of down in the dumps. Call it a random discovery if you want. Chance, maybe. But when I heard it that day, I knew it was God tapping me on the shoulder and reminding me what Christmas is all about…just like the bells that inspired its author to write it in the first place. “And pealed the bells both loud and deep, God is not dead, nor does he sleep. The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good will to men.” That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
HONORABLE MENTION:
Santa Claus is Coming To Town (Fred Coots/Haven Gillespie)
As originally written in the 1930's by 2 guys named Coots and Gillespie, it's just another Christmas pop tune about Santa Claus. I couldn't really give it a spot in my top ten because the song itself is nothing special. Everybody's performed it, and nobody cares. Except ONE version, and that's Bruce Springsteen's. The Boss started playing it at live shows with his E-Street Band back in the 70's and 80's around Christmas time, and it became their little tradition. He took an old chestnut and roasted it on an open fire. A real classic.
My Top 5 Least Favorite Christmas Songs
I really like Christmas music. Christmas is the one holiday to have its own genre of music, and most of the songs are beloved classics that have been dusted off and enjoyed every December for generations. Old Christian hymns, pop songs about reindeer, snowmen and an old fat guy from the North Pole, and old vocal standards about warmth and good cheer. Some are religious, some are commercial, some just talk about the weather, but there's something in it for everybody. Not to mention that just about every recording artist you can name has put out a Christmas album at some point, or at least done a song or two.
In this first of 2 posts, I'll present my favorites, and the ones that make me want to go hide in a dark hole with Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grinch and chow down on gruel and that last can of Who Hash.
Let's go with the bad news first. I'll do only 5 for this segment, but don't worry, I'm making them count. This is one rancid plate of roast beast!
5. Silver Bells (Jay Livingston and Ray Evans)
Christmas is a time for giving. It is, above all, a time to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. But you won’t find anything about those two subjects in this painfully commercial, schmaltzy, lay-the-sap-on thick little ditty from 1950. No, it’s about shopping in the city. Its most popular version (though it’s been performed by many) is by Bing Crosby…and not even Mr. White Christmas himself made it sound good. A lot of people like it, but count me as one of those people who doesn’t like its message.
4. The Chipmunk Song (Ross Bagdasarian)
One of the most popular Christmas songs of all time. It’s a classic, it’s creative, it’s cute and it’s well written. But that doesn’t numb the pain of hearing it over and over again back-to-back. Alvin and the Chipmunks are one of those things best enjoyed in small doses, and for some reason, this song is never used in moderation come Christmas time. This makes my list not because it’s annoying in and of itself, it’s annoying because it’s overexposed. Every Christmas, the family of the late “Dave Seville” (Ross Bagdasarian) listens to their pockets play “Jingle Bells”, and what do we get in return? Bad CGI blockbuster movies with poop jokes.
3. Christmas Shoes (NewSong)
This is a fairly recent addition to the Christmas music repertoire. A Christian musical group got a chain email back in 1996 telling the story of a poor kid who showed up at a store on Christmas Eve to buy a pair of shoes for his dying mother. It’s a nice premise, but it’s SO sappy it hurts! Not to mention sad. When I hear Christmas music, I want to celebrate happy things like Jesus and Santa Claus, not poverty and death. I’m not a Scrooge, I understand that Christmas is a time to recognize and give to the less fortunate. But in doing so, we’re supposed to make them happy and feel good about doing it, not listen to tear-jerking songs about it!
2.Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree (Johnny Marks)
Oh man, make it STOP! “Hey, it’s 1958, those kids are listening to rock and roll records. We should do a Christmas song about it to show we’re not squares!” 4-foot-9 country vocalist Brenda “Dynamite” Lee performed the original, and in fact it really is more country than it is rock. I really can’t put my finger on WHY I don’t like this song, it’s just that whenever I hear it, a big neon sign flashes in my brain that says “This SUCKS.” It genuinely irritates me.
1. Jingle Bell Rock (Beale/Boothe)
Much like the #2 entry, this was a late 1950’s attempt to make a Christmas tune that was (at the time) hip and modern. "Jingle Bell Rock" was written by Joe Beal, a public relations man from Massachusetts, and Jim Boothe , a Texas advertising writer. That should be adequate warning that we’re dealing with one commercialized, purely empty piece of horse shit. It was originally performed by Bobby Helms. That version is really country (not rock), complete with steel guitar. It’s also the only version I’ve heard that features the sound of jingle bells in it at all. Lyrically, it’s the dumbest Christmas song ever. “Giddy up, Jingle Horse, pick up your feet!” What the hell is a “jingle horse”? I’m not a horse expert, but I know the basics...you’ve got your quarterhorse, your arabian, your saddlebred. I’m from Texas, and we’ve probably got every kind of horse there is, but danged if I ain’t NEVER seen no “jingle horse” around these parts. To add insult to injury, there are countless versions of the song out there performed by countless artists, and not one of them has managed to make it palatable. I hate it, I hate it, and just for fun, I hate it some more.
In this first of 2 posts, I'll present my favorites, and the ones that make me want to go hide in a dark hole with Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grinch and chow down on gruel and that last can of Who Hash.
Let's go with the bad news first. I'll do only 5 for this segment, but don't worry, I'm making them count. This is one rancid plate of roast beast!
5. Silver Bells (Jay Livingston and Ray Evans)
Christmas is a time for giving. It is, above all, a time to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. But you won’t find anything about those two subjects in this painfully commercial, schmaltzy, lay-the-sap-on thick little ditty from 1950. No, it’s about shopping in the city. Its most popular version (though it’s been performed by many) is by Bing Crosby…and not even Mr. White Christmas himself made it sound good. A lot of people like it, but count me as one of those people who doesn’t like its message.
4. The Chipmunk Song (Ross Bagdasarian)
One of the most popular Christmas songs of all time. It’s a classic, it’s creative, it’s cute and it’s well written. But that doesn’t numb the pain of hearing it over and over again back-to-back. Alvin and the Chipmunks are one of those things best enjoyed in small doses, and for some reason, this song is never used in moderation come Christmas time. This makes my list not because it’s annoying in and of itself, it’s annoying because it’s overexposed. Every Christmas, the family of the late “Dave Seville” (Ross Bagdasarian) listens to their pockets play “Jingle Bells”, and what do we get in return? Bad CGI blockbuster movies with poop jokes.
3. Christmas Shoes (NewSong)
This is a fairly recent addition to the Christmas music repertoire. A Christian musical group got a chain email back in 1996 telling the story of a poor kid who showed up at a store on Christmas Eve to buy a pair of shoes for his dying mother. It’s a nice premise, but it’s SO sappy it hurts! Not to mention sad. When I hear Christmas music, I want to celebrate happy things like Jesus and Santa Claus, not poverty and death. I’m not a Scrooge, I understand that Christmas is a time to recognize and give to the less fortunate. But in doing so, we’re supposed to make them happy and feel good about doing it, not listen to tear-jerking songs about it!
2.Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree (Johnny Marks)
Oh man, make it STOP! “Hey, it’s 1958, those kids are listening to rock and roll records. We should do a Christmas song about it to show we’re not squares!” 4-foot-9 country vocalist Brenda “Dynamite” Lee performed the original, and in fact it really is more country than it is rock. I really can’t put my finger on WHY I don’t like this song, it’s just that whenever I hear it, a big neon sign flashes in my brain that says “This SUCKS.” It genuinely irritates me.
1. Jingle Bell Rock (Beale/Boothe)
Much like the #2 entry, this was a late 1950’s attempt to make a Christmas tune that was (at the time) hip and modern. "Jingle Bell Rock" was written by Joe Beal, a public relations man from Massachusetts, and Jim Boothe , a Texas advertising writer. That should be adequate warning that we’re dealing with one commercialized, purely empty piece of horse shit. It was originally performed by Bobby Helms. That version is really country (not rock), complete with steel guitar. It’s also the only version I’ve heard that features the sound of jingle bells in it at all. Lyrically, it’s the dumbest Christmas song ever. “Giddy up, Jingle Horse, pick up your feet!” What the hell is a “jingle horse”? I’m not a horse expert, but I know the basics...you’ve got your quarterhorse, your arabian, your saddlebred. I’m from Texas, and we’ve probably got every kind of horse there is, but danged if I ain’t NEVER seen no “jingle horse” around these parts. To add insult to injury, there are countless versions of the song out there performed by countless artists, and not one of them has managed to make it palatable. I hate it, I hate it, and just for fun, I hate it some more.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Music Video Collection
I've already told the Dave Matthews story, so no need to rehash that or repost the video here. But over the last few years, I've played around a lot with setting Looney Tunes to music. My method is pretty simple: I download the cartoons from Youtube or elsewhere, and then take snippets from them and arrange them to an Mp3 of a song using Windows Movie Maker.
It doesn't work with every song. There are songs that sound like they might work, but turn out to be completely wrong. Songs with long, meandering musical jams tend not to work, because I've found that the key to making one of these videos is being able to match a piece of animation to what the singer is portraying lyrically. From the beginning, animation and music have been closely linked. Early cartoons, especially those of Disney and Warner Bros., were timed to music, with the action plotted out on musical bar sheets. Disney's "Silly Symphonies", MGM's "Happy Harmonies", and Warner Bros.' "Looney Tunes" and "Merrie Melodies" were so titled because they were originally mini-musicals. A whole cartoon, including plot, characters and situation would often be based on the title or lyrics of a popular song. So the animation often translates quite well even to modern songs, because the timing of the action and the beat of the music are still very similar regardless of the song.
I have rounded up nearly all of my Looney Tunes/Music experiments, with annotations where needed. These are the only ones currently still online, though. I have done a couple more that were removed due to copyright claims by bands who don't want people to showcase their music in unique and interesting ways.
"Radio Nowhere" by Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
This one came from an online discussion with a fellow classic cartoon fanatic. The song had just come out, it was a big comeback for Springsteen, and I immediately noticed how poetic the lyrics were. We picked apart the lyrics and discovered that nearly every one of them had a scene in a Looney Tune that could illustrate it...and I made this as a result!
"Handlebars" by Flobots
This song is probably destined for the one-hit wonder category, but it's a great song and worked really well with cartoons. It's actually a very dark song, about the rise of a tyrant...so the use of the Hitler caricature from Bob Clampett's World War II classic "Russian Rhapsody" was a must!
"Insane In The Brain" by Cypress Hill
Cypress Hill were one of the pioneering hip-hop groups of the late 80's and early 90's, and while they're still around, this was their biggest hit. I think the title says it all as to why it works with Looney Tunes!
"Lawn Chair High" by Rehab
Rehab were literally a group of Southern redneck stoners who sang and rapped about their lives. They had a few minor hits in the late 90's and early 2000's, this one included. A song about sitting in a lawn chair in your driveway and getting wasted doesn't sound like something that would go well with cartoons...but you might be surprised! The bits with the bear are from "Porky's Bear Facts", a black and white cartoon that was redrawn (badly) in color in the 1960's and that's the only version I could find of it, sadly.
"Always Where I Need To Be" by The Kooks
The Kooks are a British pop-rock group and are just plain fun. They claim the Kinks and the Beatles as influences. This song just makes people want to dance...and if there's one thing Looney Tunes had plenty of, it's dancing.
"What About Everything" by Carbon Leaf
Also a one-hit wonder, as far as I know. But this song is lyrically amazing, poetic in every sense of the word. Every time I look at this video, though, I can't help but think I could've made it better.
Carbon Leaf- What About Everything...Looney?
Uploaded by MatthewHunter. - Watch more music videos, in HD!
"Whiskey You're My Darlin' by The Poxey Boggards
A close friend of mine in college introduced me to this band. As far as I know, their claim to fame is playing ancient Irish folk songs at Renaissance festivals, and the dirtier the song, the better! This old drinking song worked well with the 1930's cartoons of Hugh Harman and Rudolph Ising, who gave the finger to Prohibition by making lots of cartoons that revolved around drinking.
"Bad Day" by Daniel Powter
ANOTHER 1-hit wonder. But very fitting for the likes of Daffy Duck and Wile E. Coyote!
Looney Tunes Bad Day
"Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band
One of my first attempts. It's also probably the only video I have done using only 4 cartoons.
Ants Marching
It doesn't work with every song. There are songs that sound like they might work, but turn out to be completely wrong. Songs with long, meandering musical jams tend not to work, because I've found that the key to making one of these videos is being able to match a piece of animation to what the singer is portraying lyrically. From the beginning, animation and music have been closely linked. Early cartoons, especially those of Disney and Warner Bros., were timed to music, with the action plotted out on musical bar sheets. Disney's "Silly Symphonies", MGM's "Happy Harmonies", and Warner Bros.' "Looney Tunes" and "Merrie Melodies" were so titled because they were originally mini-musicals. A whole cartoon, including plot, characters and situation would often be based on the title or lyrics of a popular song. So the animation often translates quite well even to modern songs, because the timing of the action and the beat of the music are still very similar regardless of the song.
I have rounded up nearly all of my Looney Tunes/Music experiments, with annotations where needed. These are the only ones currently still online, though. I have done a couple more that were removed due to copyright claims by bands who don't want people to showcase their music in unique and interesting ways.
"Radio Nowhere" by Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
This one came from an online discussion with a fellow classic cartoon fanatic. The song had just come out, it was a big comeback for Springsteen, and I immediately noticed how poetic the lyrics were. We picked apart the lyrics and discovered that nearly every one of them had a scene in a Looney Tune that could illustrate it...and I made this as a result!
"Handlebars" by Flobots
This song is probably destined for the one-hit wonder category, but it's a great song and worked really well with cartoons. It's actually a very dark song, about the rise of a tyrant...so the use of the Hitler caricature from Bob Clampett's World War II classic "Russian Rhapsody" was a must!
"Insane In The Brain" by Cypress Hill
Cypress Hill were one of the pioneering hip-hop groups of the late 80's and early 90's, and while they're still around, this was their biggest hit. I think the title says it all as to why it works with Looney Tunes!
"Lawn Chair High" by Rehab
Rehab were literally a group of Southern redneck stoners who sang and rapped about their lives. They had a few minor hits in the late 90's and early 2000's, this one included. A song about sitting in a lawn chair in your driveway and getting wasted doesn't sound like something that would go well with cartoons...but you might be surprised! The bits with the bear are from "Porky's Bear Facts", a black and white cartoon that was redrawn (badly) in color in the 1960's and that's the only version I could find of it, sadly.
"Always Where I Need To Be" by The Kooks
The Kooks are a British pop-rock group and are just plain fun. They claim the Kinks and the Beatles as influences. This song just makes people want to dance...and if there's one thing Looney Tunes had plenty of, it's dancing.
"What About Everything" by Carbon Leaf
Also a one-hit wonder, as far as I know. But this song is lyrically amazing, poetic in every sense of the word. Every time I look at this video, though, I can't help but think I could've made it better.
Carbon Leaf- What About Everything...Looney?
Uploaded by MatthewHunter. - Watch more music videos, in HD!
"Whiskey You're My Darlin' by The Poxey Boggards
A close friend of mine in college introduced me to this band. As far as I know, their claim to fame is playing ancient Irish folk songs at Renaissance festivals, and the dirtier the song, the better! This old drinking song worked well with the 1930's cartoons of Hugh Harman and Rudolph Ising, who gave the finger to Prohibition by making lots of cartoons that revolved around drinking.
"Bad Day" by Daniel Powter
ANOTHER 1-hit wonder. But very fitting for the likes of Daffy Duck and Wile E. Coyote!
Looney Tunes Bad Day
"Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band
One of my first attempts. It's also probably the only video I have done using only 4 cartoons.
Ants Marching
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Virtual Farming?
I haven’t written in this thing for a while, and I promised myself I would keep it updated regularly. The best laid plans of mice and men, right?
Well, here’s a good topic to get it back on track…Facebook Farmville!
Some clever game developer called Zynga decided that since practically the entire world uses Facebook to communicate, there might be a market for “game” applications. At first, I found it extremely obnoxious, because people would send me invitations to play this “FarmVille” game I had never heard of, and figured was a waste of time.
Then a friend popped up in the IM feature and asked me to be his “neighbor”. Well, I figured I might as well give it a try. It couldn’t be as bad as “Mafia Wars”, a game by the same developer that, once accepted, was impossible to figure out, seemingly mindless, and would send constant notifications and clog up the Facebook feed. As it turned out, it was much more user-friendly.
Farmville has a visual, user-friendly approach, and there is actually a purpose and strategy to it. You start with a patch of “land”, some “coins”, a plow, and a “market” to buy “seeds”. From there, the goal is to plant and harvest produce, thus making money to expand and plant more. As your money increases, so does your “experience”, and the game gives you various “ribbons”, or goals, to strive for. Eventually you can buy animals, trees, decorations, buildings, and a wider variety of produce options. It also allows you to “help” your other Facebook friends with their own farms in exchange for money, and give various animals, trees and items to one another.
It’s little more than a time-waster, but since I check my Facebook regularly, it isn’t much of a chore. Everything from milking the cow to harvesting the cotton can be done in less than 5 minutes with the click of a mouse. The novelty will wear off after a while…but until then, it’s really kind of fun.
Proof that I shouldn’t knock something until I’ve tried it!
Well, here’s a good topic to get it back on track…Facebook Farmville!
Some clever game developer called Zynga decided that since practically the entire world uses Facebook to communicate, there might be a market for “game” applications. At first, I found it extremely obnoxious, because people would send me invitations to play this “FarmVille” game I had never heard of, and figured was a waste of time.
Then a friend popped up in the IM feature and asked me to be his “neighbor”. Well, I figured I might as well give it a try. It couldn’t be as bad as “Mafia Wars”, a game by the same developer that, once accepted, was impossible to figure out, seemingly mindless, and would send constant notifications and clog up the Facebook feed. As it turned out, it was much more user-friendly.
Farmville has a visual, user-friendly approach, and there is actually a purpose and strategy to it. You start with a patch of “land”, some “coins”, a plow, and a “market” to buy “seeds”. From there, the goal is to plant and harvest produce, thus making money to expand and plant more. As your money increases, so does your “experience”, and the game gives you various “ribbons”, or goals, to strive for. Eventually you can buy animals, trees, decorations, buildings, and a wider variety of produce options. It also allows you to “help” your other Facebook friends with their own farms in exchange for money, and give various animals, trees and items to one another.
It’s little more than a time-waster, but since I check my Facebook regularly, it isn’t much of a chore. Everything from milking the cow to harvesting the cotton can be done in less than 5 minutes with the click of a mouse. The novelty will wear off after a while…but until then, it’s really kind of fun.
Proof that I shouldn’t knock something until I’ve tried it!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I'm sorry, Kanye.
I'm sorry, Kanye.
I really wouldn’t want to be in Kanye West’s shoes right now. We all know the story by now, about how he upstaged Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Awards and proclaimed that Beyonce’s video was “one of the best videos of ALL time”.
Like everyone else who saw it, I immediately got into the act of ridiculing and condemning him for it. I was like seemingly everyone else in the world, hopped on the ol’ internet and joined the chorus.
I’ve been making fun of Kanye West long before Sunday night, though. He has been pulling stunts like this for years at award shows…whining and upstaging people at the Grammy shows, saying controversial things at big gatherings just to piss people off. He is the ego that ate the music industry. Even the “South Park” creators made an entire episode lampooning him for his egotistical and self-glorifying antics...ultimately drawing parallels to his way of thinking with Eric Cartman’s. Oh yeah, and they called him a gay fish.
Sunday’s incident, as far as I can tell, was not the worst thing he’s ever done. Yet, for some reason, it seems the world has made it out to be. What he did was mean, obnoxious, stupid and wrong. But when immediate and brutal criticism and joking justifiably resulted, it hasn’t STOPPED, even three days after the fact. President Obama reportedly called him a “jackass”, millions of Facebook, Twitter and Youtube posts skewered him and even stooped to dropping the N-bomb and saying they wished him dead.
Then the talk-show hosts went after him. Jay Leno essentially demanded that he apologize, asking him what his recently deceased mother would have thought. In response to that, he apologized, and cried on national television. Then came the jabs by Conan OBrien. Then Jimmy Fallon weighed in. Then all the bitchy daytime gossip reporters on the morning shows did their bit, and it’s still going on. You can bet it’ll be on SNL soon enough. There will be t-shirts made and song parodies by the assload.
What I have to ask myself and everyone else is: when do we stop casting stones? It’s one thing to joke around about something a celebrity did…they knew the job was dangerous when they took it. But to continually punish someone for something they have formally apologized for? How many times have we all done something in front of a crowd of people that we later regretted? We’ve all been or known the guy who got drunk and made an idiot of himself at a wedding, said something mean to or about a close friend or lover and lost them forever, or done something stupid and gotten arrested in public view. What happens after that? Well, what usually follows is backlash and punishment, an apology, mending of fences, and (let’s keep it hip-hop here!) “G’won, brush ya shouldas off.”
Kanye hasn’t been granted that chance to brush his shoulders off. I think it’s time for us, the public, to realize that there comes a time to forgive people, no matter how famous or well-known they are. We all like to point at celebrities and do a Nelson “HA HAAA!” when they screw up, because it makes us feel better about ourselves. But let’s be honest…WE are the reason these people are famous in the first place. Kanye West didn’t become a pop superstar with millions of dollars and billions of fans because he woke up and found a magic genie lamp in his room one day. Neither did Taylor Swift or Beyonce or Jay-Z or Lady Gaga or the late Michael Jackson or Pink or Blue or Chartreuse or whoever. Like Eminem says, “We’re the ones who made you”. Imagine being someone who believes you’re the greatest of all time in your chosen art, because you’ve been told so by legions of adoring fans. Your self-esteem is through the roof, because you’ve been lead to believe that you can do no wrong. Your public places you on a pedestal, they idolize you, and they pay their hard-earned money to experience what you say and do. But the second you make a mistake, they become a lynch-mob and chop that pedestal down, and throw you to the wolves. Imagine how that would make you feel.
I don’t like Kanye West. I like a few of his songs, but I don’t care for him particularly as a person. Still, that does not give me or anyone else the right to do what we have all done to him.
I heard this song on the way home from work today, and while I’d always liked it, I had never really paid attention to what it was saying. Suddenly, I understood how Kanyeezy must be feeling right now. West has even collaborated with the song’s creators, Coldplay, on a few occasions.
Viva La Vida lyrics
Songwriters: Berryman, Guy Rupert; Buckland, Jonathan Mark; Champion, Will; Martin, Christopher A J;
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world
It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
© UNIVERSAL MUSIC - MGB SONGS;
Finally, let's all remember:
Luke 6:42: “How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.”
-Jesus (Who does, indeed, walk.)
I’ll drop it, Kanye. I hope everyone else will do the same.
I really wouldn’t want to be in Kanye West’s shoes right now. We all know the story by now, about how he upstaged Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Awards and proclaimed that Beyonce’s video was “one of the best videos of ALL time”.
Like everyone else who saw it, I immediately got into the act of ridiculing and condemning him for it. I was like seemingly everyone else in the world, hopped on the ol’ internet and joined the chorus.
I’ve been making fun of Kanye West long before Sunday night, though. He has been pulling stunts like this for years at award shows…whining and upstaging people at the Grammy shows, saying controversial things at big gatherings just to piss people off. He is the ego that ate the music industry. Even the “South Park” creators made an entire episode lampooning him for his egotistical and self-glorifying antics...ultimately drawing parallels to his way of thinking with Eric Cartman’s. Oh yeah, and they called him a gay fish.
Sunday’s incident, as far as I can tell, was not the worst thing he’s ever done. Yet, for some reason, it seems the world has made it out to be. What he did was mean, obnoxious, stupid and wrong. But when immediate and brutal criticism and joking justifiably resulted, it hasn’t STOPPED, even three days after the fact. President Obama reportedly called him a “jackass”, millions of Facebook, Twitter and Youtube posts skewered him and even stooped to dropping the N-bomb and saying they wished him dead.
Then the talk-show hosts went after him. Jay Leno essentially demanded that he apologize, asking him what his recently deceased mother would have thought. In response to that, he apologized, and cried on national television. Then came the jabs by Conan OBrien. Then Jimmy Fallon weighed in. Then all the bitchy daytime gossip reporters on the morning shows did their bit, and it’s still going on. You can bet it’ll be on SNL soon enough. There will be t-shirts made and song parodies by the assload.
What I have to ask myself and everyone else is: when do we stop casting stones? It’s one thing to joke around about something a celebrity did…they knew the job was dangerous when they took it. But to continually punish someone for something they have formally apologized for? How many times have we all done something in front of a crowd of people that we later regretted? We’ve all been or known the guy who got drunk and made an idiot of himself at a wedding, said something mean to or about a close friend or lover and lost them forever, or done something stupid and gotten arrested in public view. What happens after that? Well, what usually follows is backlash and punishment, an apology, mending of fences, and (let’s keep it hip-hop here!) “G’won, brush ya shouldas off.”
Kanye hasn’t been granted that chance to brush his shoulders off. I think it’s time for us, the public, to realize that there comes a time to forgive people, no matter how famous or well-known they are. We all like to point at celebrities and do a Nelson “HA HAAA!” when they screw up, because it makes us feel better about ourselves. But let’s be honest…WE are the reason these people are famous in the first place. Kanye West didn’t become a pop superstar with millions of dollars and billions of fans because he woke up and found a magic genie lamp in his room one day. Neither did Taylor Swift or Beyonce or Jay-Z or Lady Gaga or the late Michael Jackson or Pink or Blue or Chartreuse or whoever. Like Eminem says, “We’re the ones who made you”. Imagine being someone who believes you’re the greatest of all time in your chosen art, because you’ve been told so by legions of adoring fans. Your self-esteem is through the roof, because you’ve been lead to believe that you can do no wrong. Your public places you on a pedestal, they idolize you, and they pay their hard-earned money to experience what you say and do. But the second you make a mistake, they become a lynch-mob and chop that pedestal down, and throw you to the wolves. Imagine how that would make you feel.
I don’t like Kanye West. I like a few of his songs, but I don’t care for him particularly as a person. Still, that does not give me or anyone else the right to do what we have all done to him.
I heard this song on the way home from work today, and while I’d always liked it, I had never really paid attention to what it was saying. Suddenly, I understood how Kanyeezy must be feeling right now. West has even collaborated with the song’s creators, Coldplay, on a few occasions.
Viva La Vida lyrics
Songwriters: Berryman, Guy Rupert; Buckland, Jonathan Mark; Champion, Will; Martin, Christopher A J;
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world
It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
© UNIVERSAL MUSIC - MGB SONGS;
Finally, let's all remember:
Luke 6:42: “How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.”
-Jesus (Who does, indeed, walk.)
I’ll drop it, Kanye. I hope everyone else will do the same.
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